words

2011-04-08T22:36:00.002+08:00

I wonder if you still read this space?

i miss you

2010-11-20T01:09:00.002+08:00

The key to happiness is excitement for the future.

2010-01-22T18:01:00.001+08:00

► the laughter, ▌▌ the memories, █▌ the pain, ◄◄ the happiness

I don't like my life now. It's too boring.
You see, we're all the same. When we're having exams, we seriously can't wait for it to end - We have fun for 2 weeks, and after that, we realise we're bored to death.
Singapore is so small, which is a bad thing. But also a good thing if you look at it from another perspective. Hehe
I've learnt another important thing from sec school education, which is to "Look at things from diff perspective" - Hell yeah social studies, geog, does lit count?

Meh. Posting results are taking so long. It's all computerised so I don't know why we all must wait for so long.
I hate this because life is really boring.
I'm dying to know what I'm gonna do next. I need a life. Need is the keyword.

Oh and I'm currently hooked onto the song Future Love by Kristinia DeBarge.
I love playing songs on repeat :}

Kinda scary that the future's coming so quickly.
5A2, I MISS YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-15T01:35:00.001+08:00

So afraid I'll make the wrong choiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(

o level results :))))))))))))))))))))))

2010-01-11T23:46:00.003+08:00

I declare today, 110110(11 jan2010) the "happiest" day of my life
I cried for 47329472398 times. Wowza.

Fuck my fucking life.

2010-01-04T19:58:00.001+08:00

aimless aimless aimless bleak bleak bleak aimless bleak aimles bleak bleak aimless bleak aimless aimless bleak bleak bleak aimless bleak aimless bleak bleak aimless bleak bleak aimless bleak aimless bleak aimless bleak bleak bleak aimless

2010-01-03T03:24:00.002+08:00

: MASSIVE

So another year has gone by.
Its dammit scary ok. I can't believe its 2010 already. It seems so surreal.
And I still feel weird.
I miss school, alot.

Results in 9 days :(

2009-12-27T13:05:00.003+08:00

Wowza

2009-12-19T03:46:00.002+08:00

Being cool is when you ignore things that bother you (Y)
And I dont care.

Yay karlene loves me :)

CLASS OUTING ON 11 JAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-15T02:07:00.001+08:00

2009-12-12T23:58:00.002+08:00

Went to the peranakan museum with mum and sis today.
My mum paid 6 for herself and 3 for my sis.
and guess what!!! My mum didnt have to pay for me becos they asked for my school and after they checked, they said plmgss is a member so i get to go in free ^^

Ok then met with dad and my other 4 cousins later on.
Had dinner at lau pa sat and then coke + shaker fries + cheesecakes at macs.
Fun fun fun!

Can't wait for the bkk trip with my family and two other families from my dad's side!

Singapore is boring!
WHERE SHOULD WE COUNTDOWN??????

2009-12-10T20:20:00.003+08:00

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm let's see, I've been receiving so many letters from polys till I'm so sick of it.
It really makes me think of what I wana do, and it ends up with a question in my head: Am I even up to it? Results are not even out yet.

Stupid.Stop sending!!!!

I like the idea of NP or SP's Optometry course :))))))))))))

2009-12-07T20:14:00.002+08:00

Go listen to Time For Miracles by Adam Lambert.
That song has been stuck in my head for the whole of last night.
(Y) The best.

2009-12-07T00:54:00.004+08:00

I dont know whats wrong with me already. I'm thinking alot almost every night and I just feel like crap. BUTTTTT I'm really gonna do this ok, I'm going to tell myself life is short because life really is. And there's really no use thinking.
See, during holidays, the mind wanders.

I'm so worried about my problem. I dont want to hear that I have cancer so I pray I dont.
And I've been thinking so much about life. If I dont do well for Os, my dreams are over.
But whats the point of thinking about it now when what's done cannot be undone am I right?

It's just that right now, I don't have a vision.
I sleep late, I wake up late.
I either go out, or rot at home.
Everyday is like a routine. I'm starting to think I have issues.
Right now, (for now only) I want time to pass faster, I want to get by this stupid holiday. I want my results.
I want to know how I fared.

One part of the convo is a NOTE TO SELF:

Vision for now= to be happy
Vision after Os results=
1) dont look back, its over. results no good, nvm God wil make a way, go to a course and make the best out of it. cry if i need, 3 days and thats enough
2) if do well, good, persue my dreams, miss pl along the way, its ok, but move on, or life will be very sad. be happy and work hard.

Pardon me for the poor english, I WAS TALKING TO A FRIEND HELLO.
Informality is definitely ok right;)

cos oh oh oh, i've got the sickness you've got the cure

2009-12-06T16:19:00.002+08:00

NOSTALGIA

rmb when we went sun tanning at the corriders till Mrs Jacob scolded us?
rmb about fei fei, our lil fish in the pond beside our class last year?
rmb the times we counted the steps to our "heaven" (which was the canteen)
rmb how mrs wong got pissed with us that she had nothing to say but "go outside and see your fish lah"
etc etc
etc
etc
etc

I found so many old photos.

<333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333 forever

2009-11-27T00:54:00.002+08:00

It has been 3 weeks since Os ended.
I'd do whatever it takes to make time pass slower :(
Prom's over, and I had a great time during prom man. You have no idea how much I was thinking of school the night when prom ended.
I love my class :) I love mrs dhaliwal and Miss Loh. Haha I love the teachers. I love PL<3

I want to look for a job, but at the same time I wana laze around. I hate it. I dont wana work. I want to study!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss studying and I know you're gonna say I'm crazy. But thats how bored I am.

I wonder what I should do during new year's eve..
Anyone has any ideas? :)

2009-11-17T17:37:00.004+08:00

I don't know if I still see a point in blogging anymore.
Life's more mundane than usual. I kinda miss school actually.
Sec school life is over, and I realised I won't be going back there on 2nd jan. You know dragging myself to school, hearing the first assembly of the year, looking at everyone's grumpy faces, new haircuts, new form teacher, choosing a new class theme.. etc
Damn, I'm gonna miss all of these. (I am very serious)

So, we're spamming facebook with PL photos and all. I have to agree with what K said, that we never get tired of looking at them over and over again.
I guess it because PL's a place where the most beautiful memories can be found,
where friendships are forged, where the best teachers can be found(im not joking:)

2010 is coming up.. and it makes me think alot. LIKE REALLY A L O T.
First up, RESULTS. And I dont even wana think about it.
Social Studies is the worst of the worst! Yup I'm sure you guessed it right: I WAS ONE OF THE VENETIANS! HAHAHAHAH
Ok so serve me right cos I spotted venice and venice did not come out!
Can you imagine how I wanted to laugh when i saw the paper? Hahahahah people out there who studied venice like me would definitely understand. :)
The other subjects are not well done either. I HAVE CONFIDENCE FOR NONE.
Ooh well, I'm just leaving everything, EVERYTHING to God now.
He's in control so yup, I dont have to worry much.
Just thinking. and thinking. amd thinking. WELL THATS NOT WORRYING RIGHT?

Prom on 24th and my hair is so screwed. :(
Nevermind. Suck it up and just go.

Oh anyway, I've been miserable lately BECOS MY IPOD DIED ON ME.
My dad's gonna get me a new one anyway. But right now, I feel like i'm not alive becos I can't step out of the house w/o it.
I can't jog w/o it, I can't take a bus w/o it. I cant even sit in my dad's car w/o it.
My mum just nags at me and remind me of how fortunate I am already.

Oh wtv hahahahaha.

Will blog again soon.
xoxo

2009-09-08T02:50:00.001+08:00

47 more days to Nike race?
Means 49 more days to O levels.

Fuck it I wana go for Nike race.
What should I do?

2009-09-07T03:48:00.002+08:00

Tumblr. is the shit now, yo.
I guess everyone's gonna move to Tumblr soon.

http://thecactusandballoonlove.tumblr.com/

I'm sticking to blogger, but Tumblr. will just be another space for me :)

2009-09-06T02:14:00.002+08:00

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you

Oh every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

-

It's becos of the little things you did, that got me where I am now.

Who even said life was fair in the first place?
This is what happens, when you love like you've never been hurt before.

it can take years..

"Along the way, I’ve learnt that you can’t let anyone in too far and you can’t trust endlessly. The biggest mistake you can make is to care or love someone more than yourself, because then you are just setting yourself up for disappointment. Boundaries are necessary so that you can protect yourself, because once you’re broken, you’ll never be fully fixed."

2009-09-04T20:33:00.002+08:00

Very soon the one week holiday will end.
then very soon intensive will end.
then very soon Os will end.
then very soon 2010 will come.
very soon we'll go separate ways.

The future is so real now, I am really, really scared.

Stupid blogger is a bitch right now I can't even post up photos!!!!
Grace tagged so many of us on facebook, its the intensive revision timetable.
You know I dont know how to feel right after I saw it

Tell me you understand how I feel.

Best In Me - Blue

2009-09-02T14:01:00.002+08:00

I typed a whole chunk of words but I backspaced.

Sticky post-it is pissing me off again. That's one reason why I'll never allow her to come too close.
It's like pleasee, be more sensitive and read btwn the lines can? Can't you tell from our tone that you're crossing the line again?
Damn annoying cos you're damn fake. :(

"I almost dozed off during chinese"
That up there is something you can hear from almost everyone after paper 2. Hahaha.

And screw maths, it was a killer.

Goodbye I'm gonna study my bio<3 Say hello to bio yay.
but i hate ecology :(

I like the nervous system and the eye :) and everything.. EVERYTHING except ecology.

Omg 1st sep already????????

2009-09-01T18:48:00.003+08:00

Rihanna still reminds me of you.
TSK.

around 50 odd days to Os now. Cheers.
CANT WAIT FOR IT TO START. ^ ^

What the hell haha.

One time - Justin Bieber

2009-08-30T16:25:00.003+08:00

I don't know what happened to blogger. They don't allow pictures to be posted and the layout really sucks.

Anyway, it's sunday!! Can't wait for tomorrow cos it's our last year celebrating teacher's day in school I hope it'd be good. And plus, since I skipped teacher's day celebration last year, I've decided to be present for the last one in PL :)

I just dislike the idea of ACES day before the whole celebration. I don't see the point and I think it's REALLY lame. No fbts allowed too. -.-

Talking about No fbts allowed, did i mention that the school is insane? They've told the security guard not to allow us to walk out of the school wearing pe attire and shorts. Die die must have our pinafore over it, or miss gan "would scold the security guards"
Why am I not surprise?

Soooooooooooo, life has been pretty mundane lately. Sleep sleep sleep study, sleep, sleep, sleep, computer, computer (IF YOU REALISED, i didn't emphasize on studying. WHY? becos I've not really get my gears on yet)
Livia is so dead.

Caught Orphan that day and it was very good (y) I rate it five stars. Better than The Omen. The storyline's not like The Omen, but somehow, the ending of the show reminds me of it. The part where the evil child said: "Dont leave me mummy"
Ok I shall not be a spoiler but DO WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN. It's good.
And, definitely NC16.

Haha.
I wana watch final destination and the last house on the left(?) but dammit its M18.

Bandslam next? VANESSA ANNE HUDGENS FTW HAHAHAHHAHAA.

I talk like O levels ended already. -.-

Screw you livia go study bio.

2009-08-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

"Love can be trying and hard to accomplish but when you have love always hold it close to your heart because you never know when you have to let it go."

Wow.
I realised I don't go a day without thinking of you.
I realised sometimes before i sleep at night, I replay back the times we hugged. I even counted them: nine.
Somebody, shoot me.

I have to agree with everyone that this term has not been good. It's not even OK. Everything just mounts up tgth. When something upsets you, other things make you feel worst. And you just snap eventually.

I won't be surprise if I end up in the mental hospital.

-
I had fun at Lauren's birthday party tonight! Although your birthday's on 23rd, HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY IN ADVANCED LAUREN CHANG YEN MING I LOVE YOU ALOT! :)

And tmrw's see toh's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEETOH!!!!! :)

I am very sleepy gonna crash now goodnight.

bitch please

Keep trying, keep striking (even when your faith is shaken)

2009-08-20T16:08:00.002+08:00

Welcome myself back to blogging, to bitching, to swearing, to venting out all my frustrations....
to expressing my happiness, joy, contentment about life........

Wait.

First and foremost, I don't know why I deleted my blog. But I guess I just wana say, "things have been pretty challenging"
I have to thank those friends who've always been there to hear me rant. I hope things are ok for you guys too! Everything will be fine in 3 months time :) Or lesser than that.
Talking about that, O levels is in 60 odd days. SAY BYE TO LIFE.

So moving along, CHINESE RESULTS CAME OUT YTD.
What the hell it was damn disappointing I dont care if you guys are laughing at me in THAT room(you know which room) becos my expectations were "too high" for myself.

I don't care about what you guys say. I have to admit things were pretty bad yesterday. It's like giving in your best shot but things don't turn out the way you wanted them to. But looking towards the brighter side, I know I gave in my best shot too last minute AND I CAN DO BETTER. I don't care if your'e gonna tell me "HUH YOU WANT TO RETAKE???" and all the shit alright?
Why me? Why do you guys have to make ME the one you're always talking about? That's why I said, you people are DAMN IT judgemental. (you guys know who you are)

I could have smack those 5 five words 'I will prove you wrong" right in your face just now but I knew I couldn't afford to do that. Firstly becos if I dont, it'll be a joke. Secondly becos you'll just go on yakking about livia tan. "you know livia is retaking her chinese"

But just so you know, I kinda feel honoured. There are so many, so many students who are planning on retaking, BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE ME THE TALK ACROSS THE ROOM ^ ^

I can't explain how much I dislike you, really. Its my results NOT YOURS. Its my future NOT YOURS. I dont need ANY encouragement from you but shut the hell up pls.
If you have nothing nice to say don't say.

:)
So anyway, I don't care what you said to me today. I don't care if you've told me "did you hear what mrs ding told you?"
I don't care. If I dont try I'll never know.
And I believe with God, I can.
My results will just get brighter and brighter (got this from N)
And even if they dont, GOD HAS A PLAN.

Face it, youre screwed up.

I've moved on :) from yesterday's disappointment. From the human geog paper shit I had 2 weeks ago. I'm stronger now. Everything will be good.
No matter what, I have to carry on. We have to continue trying.
Becos only then, we'll have NO REGRETS:)

Hope you all out there are feeling better about chinese results. Whoever you guys are :) TRUST IN GOD no matter what. Even if your faith is dying, TALK TO HIM.

2009-08-09T13:47:00.004+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!!! (L)

Wazzzzzzzup everyone 2 more days to prelims I have no mood to study today
HAHAHHAHA YEAH IT'S THE NATION'S BIRTHDAY.

I will kill for NDP tickets. :(:(:(:(:(:(
Should I just go to the padang to watch?

No mood to study bye I'm going to sing national day songs to myself. And for singapore Muacks SAYONARA

FML

2009-08-08T23:47:00.001+08:00

I don't want to screw this up but if I do, please give me a revelation why I did.
I don't see why I deserve this.
Why am I even thinking of myself failing?
Duh livia, you know the answer yourself.
I should go sleep again. Since I already slept half the day away, might as well sleep the whole day away, right?

-
Had a little surprise birthday thingy for janice tonight. Happy legal 18th yayyyyy love you!

-
"God puts us all in each others lives to impact one another in some way"
If it is really so, then I think God must have made a mistake for chosing you.

Becos till now, even when you're gone, I don't see the good of you impacting my life.
It hurts thinking about you. It hurts to miss you most of the time.

-
If only I could get NDP tickets :(

2009-08-07T15:30:00.003+08:00

MUSCLE ACHE TO THE MAX.
Thanks to the 1000000 trials of Standing Broad Jump ytd.
Still fail. Phobia already right theresa?
THANKS AH.

And definitely becos of the 4km jog last night.
I knew it. The park and treadmill's different.
They work on different part of your leg muscles.

I TOLD CHA'!
Haha not funny byebye.

Mad horse on the loose (call SOS)

2009-08-05T11:22:00.006+08:00

I still can't believe this.
The horse is so mean. Guess what she said when she saw this girl who was trying to lose weight running at the school gym?
"Aiyah this one too fat cannot make it one lah"
O-m-g

I am appalled.
However, on the other hand I'm not really surprised upon hearing what she said.
Now I know why there's a huge number of people who hates her like crazy.
I always thought she was ok, but hell no. Not anymore.
Anyway, I'm also not basing on ONE incident but many.
Like come on, you should have heard the way she talked to me today "YOU WANT TO LIE ALSO LIE BETTER LAH"

EH just so you know, I didn't fight back or talk back becos I know I must respect a teacher no matter what. Even if you were the one who talked to me in that impolite matter first. So I chose to be smart.

I wonder how you're even qualified to be a teacher.

And I remember the time she said I was trying to run away from her when she wanted to see my friends and I for something wrong we did, but she saw me hanging around in school later on.
"DONT ACT INNOCENT LIVIA, YOU JOLLY WELL NOW WHAT YOU DID"

Well fuck you. Firsly I dont act innocent. You should know me by now. Secondly, you dont think before you speak.
I wish I could just tell you to use your fucking brain: Would I stay in school if I was trying to run away from you?

I have nothing to hide and do you realise it's livia tan youre talking to?
Do I look like I'll be afraid of you or the consequences I know I'm gonna face?

No wonder you can only rise this high, only as a lower sec maths teacher and a pe teacher. OH NOT TO MENTION HOD OF CCA AND PE ^^ Wah so cool.

I think youre so freaking pathetic.
Yesterday, I saw you going right to the other pe teacher to complain straight away about us. Omg you wouldnt believe how hard we laugh.
Today, I KNOW WHAT YOU DID.
You told your dearest HOD teachers I lied that Im having a headache.
Awwwwww your judgemental friends. (I'm not saying all teachers are judgemental. but IN GENERAL, you all are. Only 10 percent of them are an exception:)

Oh ya I should have told a better lie.
Thanks. I would next time.

I hope you read this. Then maybe you can go complain again.
Don't worry. I truly truly understand you need to let it out and I'm so sorry you're always so affected and insecure.

Conversations with wan ting my wan ton (Scroll down for the photo fried wan ton you know you love me:)

2009-07-30T00:26:00.003+08:00

livia <10 says:
ask me study only i tired
livia <10 says:
come online
livia <10 says:
damn awake
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
hahahas
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
same
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
join the studying sian club
livia <10 says:
joined
livia <10 says:
since i was primary one
livia <10 says:
HAHAHA
livia <10 says:
thats why
livia <10 says:
i still in sec schol now
livia <10 says:
thats why i in na
livia <10 says:
lol
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
i join earlier
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
kindergarden
livia <10 says:
LOL
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
i'm yr senior
livia <10 says:
huh
livia <10 says:
lol
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
i admiring the photo
[35]...speech...out of the ordinary says:
very nice

Let you see again!!!!!! I am high. Cos I'm not studying.
I'm going bonkers. I'm laughing to myself.

Thinking Of You - Katy Perry

2009-07-29T19:48:00.000+08:00

You should have been present for today's chapel. It was about Forgiveness.

-
Human Geog is killing me slowly. I'm super sleepy.
Venice is very hard.
And Chemistry is so,weird but I like it suddenly.
Hi lit, I have not touch you in a while and I dont know when I'm going to. I better soon or I'm gonna fail.
Gonna have this 4 subjects first, then about 1 and a half weeks break till the 2nd part of prelims - Killer papers: Physical Geog and Biology.

Kill my brain cells.

Did I not mention maths?
Maths sucks!!

2009-07-25T23:49:00.003+08:00

4th death case in singapore.

Assembly will resume at the assembly area on monday?????????????????????
WTH then whats the point of social distancing in classrooms? Defeats the purpose doesn't it?
Can the government/Ministry of health get any more complacent?

Fine, I'm saying this just because I'm sad I cant be late like at least 5-10 mins anymore. I'll have to walk super fast to school when I hear the bell from the carpark near the science labs. Then feel exhausted when I reach school just in time for assembly. Sorry super unfit pardon me.

HOW? :(

Wonderwall - Oasis

2009-07-24T11:46:00.002+08:00

I am happy so I'm going to blog.
I am happy for a very silly reason: I found my chem worksheet!
Mrs Raja said she'd be going thru next week and we have to get it done by next week
I was like what! She gave it really really long ago haha!
Many chem worksheets to do. She's going thru them everyweek so no choice do lor :(
Chem-is-try hahaha. Try but fail = nevermind BECOS AT LEAST WE ALL TRIED.

Guess what we did for chinese on thursday?!
We learnt how to make tea at the culture appreciation room. The RIGHT way of making tea ^^ It was DAMN DAMN fun I felt so happy I dont know why. Everyone was happy haha!
Ok apparently, there wouldn't be anymore chinese till our results are out? Becos we had amaths instead of chinese today. I miss mrs ding. Haha.
BUT WAITTTT, I DONT WISH TO RETAKE OMGOMG.

In conjunction to Racial Harmony day, we were encourage to wear ethnic costumes today.
I borrowed a malay costume from salisha, and I changed to my school uniform right after 2 periods hahahahaha!
It was soooooo big and I looked pregnant. Omg Salisha's so skinny how come she can wear?
I think its matter of getting use to it...
I wanted to wear a sari but I was laz to find anyone who would lend me one.

Moving along, I have yet to watch Harry Potter. I know it's gonna be a huge dissapointment again since I'm a fan and I read the book BUT it's still a show not to be miss right! Omg but the thought of going out makes me wana sleep....
The thought of everything makes me wana sleep lah ok.

Oh anyway, I think Daniel Radcliffe only looked nice in the third movie of Harry Potter. Apart from that, ummmmmmm... he looks... weird.

I can't believe today's friday. Felt like monday was just yesterday. Many of the classmates were actually going "omg today friday already???????"
Haha this is scary. Soooooon its gonna be friday again, then we're all gonna say "OMGGG its friday again hahahahhaa why so fast?"

Anyway I just wana talk about this. You know some teachers tell us to not think first about what we wana do when we leave pl, but to concentrate on our Os?
But it's inevitable to not do so lah.
Yi ting was like saying, a few classmates are already going for their DPA interview.
So it just totally reminds us about next year. Ha.

Should I be chamber maid? I think I can qualify. Duh.

-
cos its all misunderstood

2009-07-23T00:50:00.002+08:00

Angela gave me the link to this.
It's sooooooo damn true.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls

2009-07-21T19:19:00.005+08:00

Today's a good day becos someone's gone for like 1 and a half weeks? Which means tomorrow will be good too. Even though there's add maths, but still. I dont have to see that EWWWWWW person during pe which means yay. Aren't we all happy?

Can't wait to share the good news with wan ting who didn't come to school today.
Hahahahah who gives two shits about pe?

:)
EVERYONE REMEMBER TO BRING YOUR IC TOMORROW FOR LISTENING COMPRE, THEY DO NOT ALLOW EZ LINK CARDS!

I. Am. Damn. Tired.

Today super unproductive again.
40 percent sure I'm going to be chamber maid. Haha.

Don't want Os

2009-07-20T20:41:00.003+08:00

I am this close to giving up.
Just THIS close.

Nothing shines anymore

2009-07-16T18:59:00.004+08:00

My eyes are closing. My bed looks tempting.

I feel....................................... too much.

I still, can't believe I'm leaving PL really soon. In 3-4 months time.
Treasure everything, treasure everyone.

Tsunami may hit Singapore on 22nd july? Lets see how true it is.. but if it does, make sure it doesnt hit singapore till 4 plus. After we take our chinese LC please and thank you.

Anyway, Harry Potter 5 is out!!

HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE FTW!

How. I forgot what I read from the fifth book already. Hey it was 3 or 4 years ago?
Hope the movie wouldn't be a dissapointment like the 4th show.

2009-07-14T23:44:00.002+08:00

"humans must learn to understand each one's plight. because they didn't experience what you have, so they think it's easy like abc, when it's even more difficult than anything else in the world"

2009-07-14T16:47:00.002+08:00

You know, I wouldnt be feeling what I am feeling today, if it was all that easy.
Sometimes you need to take a step back to see situations; to have a better insight of things. I tried but it's so hard to fanthom. Why do I even care right? This post is just gonna lead to nowhere again. Becos people get irritated when they read, but come on, you see that little x on the top right hand of this page, you can click on that :)

-
Life is b l e a k.
And I hate tomorrow. I hate wednesdays. And today's not a good day. In other words, Fuck Oral.

They asked: "Teenagers in Singapore don't like exercising. Do you agree?" Sounds easy? but when youre infront of BOTH examiners, its a different thing. Especially when you're the kind that don't speak chinese/don't read chinese.
Also, today's passage was a real killer. I misread so many words I knew how to read. And there were so many words I didn't know how to read.
You should see the bloody guy's expression when I was speaking. Whats with trying so damn hard to show me I'm hopeless or something, I swear that facial expression just made you look like a complete IMMATURE idiot.
Plus, I heard BOTH examiners are from china. (I think this is my karma)

Anyway it's over. Whatever's screwed up is screwed up.(whatever is done cannot be undone)

I hate life.

Cheer up lene and nikki. :)

Heartless - Kanye West

2009-07-14T01:39:00.004+08:00

1:39 am orediz livia going to sleep nothing going into her head. 2day i slept from 4-8. Yay next time my job is sleeping ok.
What do you get from sleeping? "You can dreammmmm!" (quote from wan ting) --> Private joke when the chinese teacher asked why we sleep so much. HAHAHA it was funny at that point then..

Nothing's funny now. Nothing will be today. I dread today (as in later!!) and I think my future's really bleak now. I feel worst and I think I should start learning how to sweep the floor. I should strat doing housework. Next time can be chamber maid or something.. Ya....

You might ask, "how come its only chinese!" but hey, chinese is still a subject and I wana count chinese in my r5 if possible? Why am I even thinking so far? I think I need to see a psychiatrist.

Anyway I think I have attitude problem. No need to think, its a fact right?

And how come its like, everything seems so fine, but you chose to act like its not? Don't we both said we will move on from this? And I forgot to add that I had no intentions. Prolly you thought I had, and I dont blame you for feeling that way, but come on, do I look like I wana care about it now when whats impt now is my Os? Sigh ohwell. So be it. Just so you know, your actions dont justify that we should move on from this.
Stop thinking I have intentions, please? We've all grown up. And I think I have too, in one way or another.

Don't try to decipher and I'm not pointing the finger at anyone. And that wasn't pun intended:)

Everything that revolves around me, (ok scratch that)
Everything that revolves around me that affects me makes me more aware I have an attitude problem. Becos I see how I feel about it, or how I deal with it. Like eeeyer why I so weird one? Not supposed to feel angry maybe but I do. Not supposed to feel sad but I do.
Nvm trying to control, still controlling. And will continue.
Fyi, it's not only ONE problem(so dont assume) Okay? :)

The air is cold today

2009-07-12T03:00:00.006+08:00

I've been sleeping so much I know I'm gonna regret this. I slept from 130am friday night to 12pm sat. And i went back to sleep at 2 till 4 -.-
Get back on track livvvvvv.

Thinking of chinese oral makes me want to puke.
As in, I'm really, really scared. Not disgusted but I'm afraid I don't do well. and right now, chinese oral determines where we stand. The teachers told us paper 1 and 2 was quite badly done. Students thought they've done well but no... (omg i think im one of them) My chinese sucks although I know I improved a little. How can I get an A2? I rememebered saying I want a b3, but now I MUST get an A2.
Funny right? Its like someone saying she needs to get a distinction for chinese when she's always getting a c6.
Oh well, set Nearly Impossible Goals remember? :)

I
am
scared
for
oral
it's
two
days
away
counting from sunday.

& yay moles cos I'm finally getting the hang of it. At least A LITTLE. but whenever I attempt the paper ah, there's so little time for me to think. Hahhahaahahhaha.

I wana vomit ok I'm going off. Byebye
Oh and good luck 5A1 and 5a2 for chinese oral:)
Hope they ask about something related to the news..... becos for the past few days the questions were stupid. Like "Do you think teachers and students can be friends?"....
I mean how much can you talk about it right?

Okokokokokokk pray:)

2009-07-09T23:46:00.002+08:00

I'm laughing at the slightest thing like:

☀ lorry says:
pinky promise? lol
livia <10 says:
pinky promise "shake shake"

Ummmmm not funny? I know but im laughing. Tomorrow's gonna suck cos school ends at 345. And it has to end with the worst lesson: Add maths. Ok at least not pe?
O levels Oral for chinese is coming soon! 14 july! Omg I cant even speak fluently and Mrs ding has to always tell me to speak chinese to her. "Jiang hua yu hao ma?"
:( How come I still think chem sux? I am angry. I can't do chem. Sucks to be me. The week's ending. How come life so short?

Tomorrow got curry noodle leh, should I eat not? Tomorrow's recess damn crowded if I can remember.
And I have a damn big feeling they're gonna change the timetable next week..................................................................
How come I'm so random?
And how come life's a bitch?

How come everyone's so crazy lately?

fyl (go figure)

2009-07-08T17:18:00.004+08:00

The song 'Fix You' by Coldplay is totally for you but not from me to you. You just need a life. You need forgiveness. I pity you really. You feel so insecure and all. Your words just shows it all. Come on, just admit although youre an adult, youre a real screwed up one.

And i also kinda get it. Birds of a feather flock together.
In chinese, its not about birds, but about clouds: Wu Yun Yi Ban Hei.

2009-07-07T23:27:00.000+08:00

Can someone buy me a cat so that I can have someone to talk to?

I believe

2009-07-06T12:19:00.002+08:00

My eyes are closing becos I forced myself to wake up at 11am becos I don't want to be tossing and turning in my bed at 3am tonight. Sigh why can't we have a 1 week youth holiday. ^^

Can't wait for school tomorrow. Becos there's motivational talk. Every1's looking forward to it. But there's chem and I really hope I don't fall asleep. I really dislike chem and I'm trying to love it and there's seriously nothing nice about it. :( Moles I hate you! Redox I hate you too.

There's english and I'm not done with my AWARE article and mind map. HAHAHHAAHA I'm gonna do it tonight becos right now, im going out!

The weather's screaming bloody murder. I thought I felt super cold an hour ago. T.T Crycrycry super hot.

2009-07-04T00:14:00.004+08:00

wah i tell you school sucked today. firstly, someone cut my queue. haha.

then, i was having cramps and my mood was swinging really badly.

Lit lesson was totally -.- hahah funny. "you want to respect me i dont care. you dont respect me i dont care" but omg she scolded me for showing eye something? whatever eye thing she said lah. my english not as powerful as hers.
hahah always contradict herself one leh. "jaaziel dont pack" "pack if you want to go then. get out of my class" "jaaziel STOP PACKING. DONT TSK ME" Litte ironies, really. hahaha.
but nvm, maybe she was having a bad day like me!!!!

And I'm really annoyed with this particular teacher, very very unreasonable, really super annoyed really wanted to shoot her with everything thats on my mind but I held my tongue becos in their minds, they'll just go "childish" So whats the point right? Just let them nag or scold lor. Hahahahaha.

Anyway I think Mrs D is really nice. I guess we just didn't see the good side of her from the start becos we were focusing on all her flaws. We never gave her a chance. But I think everyone's impression towards her is changing(in a good way) She's strict but I think she's a good teacher. :) Even J agrees.

Okay I'm off to watch BOF then do a little of emaths. (wait do you think i'll do it later? haha i dont know) Bye I'm going to watch boys over flowers! can you believe Im not done with it yet? Im gg really slow and im only at episode 10. Soooooo many people have completed the whole show already hahahah.

I think the stupid stye is growing back. Going to look very gross. Maybe cos i did the eye whatever thing to AL just now, thats why God punishing me. Hahaha I AM JOKING. i could feel slight slight pain since ytd. OK whateverrrrr.

Byebye :)

hello youuuuuuuuuuu little girl I just asked you to read this. This part's for you. Cheer up love you. Remember you can talk to me if you need someone to talk to :)

59 sheeps

2009-06-30T23:56:00.003+08:00

I'm suffering from insomnia. I have trouble sleeping. I feel tired but when I really want to sleep, I can't. So many things running in my mind, and it's not like I never tried not to think. Wait. There wasn't even a particular thing to think about. My thoughts are all jumbled together. This is getting so hard.

Regret. is the worst feeling one can feel. You know how I wish I could turn back time, to really sit down in class and pay attention to what Mrs Soh was talking about 2 years back? Right now, I don't even have my basics for Addmaths and it sucks. Don't tell me I'm going to do ok. I may sound like a pessimist here but I know where I stand. I'm not failing like 30-40. I'm getting a one digit. I wish I had not let that "next year then work hard lah" thought took over everything. When I tried to brush up in June, it was super hard. I didn't get anything. Time is running out. And I still do not understand anything. Mrs Soh is back. But there's no point. Firstly, I left 4 months to Os. Secondly, she'snot teaching me anymore. Thirdly, as I said, I think I'm really incapable to work on it. As in, yes I may be able to work on it. To probably get a pass or a B, but I've got to think. Will I be jeopardizing my other subjects? This feeling really sucks. I'm having three periods of amaths tomorrow. Sure, my teacher may be able to go thru 3 chapters. One period one chapter. Like how he always did, like he's rushing for the last train. Leaving everyone clueless. It consoles me a little, but then again, they've got their foundation there, they've master the basics. I have Nothing.

Time is passing so fast. I can't believe I'm graduating soon. I wonder what I wana do in life. I wonder what I'm gonna do in future. It scares me a little, thinking about it. I wonder how it's gonna be like, entering a new place. The next institution. It's like starting life all over again. Sounds a little early talking about this, but the time will come before we know it. I know I won't have that 'homely' feeling ever again. I know I have to start making friends. Imagine shaking hands, then you realised he/she types like an ah lian/beng, then you have to make friends all over again. (got that little knowledge from sarah) Will miss dragging myself to school, will miss being around everyone I'm familiar with. I hate to start all over again. But we all have to move on. As much as I dread it, I can't wait. Hmmmm, but I dread it more than anticipating it.

You're so far now, I wish we could talk. I don't have other intentions. I wish I wouldn't have to lose you completely. Words wouldn't come out right even if we do speak to each other. Will you judge me? Will you treat what I said like trash? It's hard to say what's coming from my heart, because this relationship btwn us has already gone extremely sour. I wonder if I really do talk to you, will you tell me what's on your mind? I wonder if anyone believes in second chances? Even if there are no second chances, and even if there's a reason for it, will you tell me the truth? I really do not have other intentions. You've made such a great impact. It's so hard to imagine how I probably won't see you again. Talking about it always makes me feel worst, even now. Becos its redundant. But I'm trying this out, perhaps I'll be able to sleep tonight.

BOYS OVER FLOWERS!!!!!!

2009-06-28T03:43:00.003+08:00

Ummm it's gonna be 4 in the morning. I just have to blog this:

I can't stop thinking Kim Bum(whom is Yijung in the show) is really handsome,

And MinHo(Jun Pyo) is really, sweet and omg I didn't like him in the beginning but further episodes got me realising he's extremely sweet and has this unique personality haha!

And I have to stop this Boys Over Flowers craze right now, it's more distracting than anything else in the world. I have not complete my homework? All the best to liv. GG already.

Sorry for being weird. I do not like the golden hair guy. But it's ok, Nikki will love me becos she can have him. He's really popular, everyone likes him! I don't see the reason why. Don't kill me. To each his own:)

RANDOM SHOTS.

2009-06-15T01:26:00.008+08:00

What should I get my dad for Father's Day?

Okay I don't know. I am getting fatter. I hate food.

Okay right now, life is still good. I love PL. :)

Anyway it's my last entry till I really, really want to blog again.

I'm for real now.

Love all you sexy people out there. :)

Till then darlings.

2009-06-14T16:01:00.000+08:00

I had a weird dream. I was with sharmila at heeren. And I know heeren does not have starbucks but in my dream, starbucks was located neat the entrance of heeren. So shar and I were outside heeren and I asked her for a cig to try. I remembered it was viceroy. And I was happily smoking away. It feels like I was smoking shisha. Cooling. HAHAHA. Totally what the hell right? And I saw PL seniors in starbucks because it was a see through window kinda thing. Minutes after, I heard from a stranger that the police will be coming any minute. Then sharmila was like : "Shit the seniors bao doh us lah!" So we ran for our lives. I dont know why we were running but I remembered I never ran that fast in my life before and then we bumped into a caucasian and he drove us back home.

Seriously crazy.

Life hurts

2009-06-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

If we could start over.. to the time where nothing else mattered. My hands on your face, your eyes closed, your smile so... beautiful.

2009-06-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

liv: "wah lao! no reception here!!"
Mrs lum: "yes. unless you're an m1 user.."
(everyone laughed)
Mrs lum"bear with it for a while k. just 1 hr 30 min. I'm sure your other classes are not in the ava room right?"

Hahahaha whateverrrr, how unlucky was that! Our 3 lessons today were held in the ava room. Lit and Bio were with the express classes and hell yes, they're bloody noisy.
Not saying we're not, but we don't talk AS MUCH as them.
Okokok must not lose out. We already don't study as much as them, so tmrw we talk as much as them ok? Cannot lose out cannot lose out. Have that kiasu mindset abit. Note the sarcasm.

Both 5a1 and 5a2 are willing to stay back for venice tomorrow so that mrs lum could complete "the rise of venice" section.
And I am excited! I love venice i love venice! I wana go there for honeymoon. I reallly hope it doesnt sink by then. because it's sinking slowly (literally) :(

Nikki was being pesky (as usual ahaha) in the morning.
I was getting ready for school therefore I didn't notice my phone light coming on and off.
She gave me a missed call and 4 messages.

"You bathing is it? Lol. Respond ah. You dont respond i dont friend you. Lol. Meow! Wake up Next time I dont talk to you until very late lei. wakey wakey."

"wake up. are you still sleeping? First lesson is ss! Must go early!!!"

"hello reply me lei"

And i forgot what was the last message haha. Ok lah it was quite funny.
My cramps are killing me right now:( Who has pink panadol?

I'm hooked onto the song Look After You by The Fray. Reminds me of someone.

I wonder if..

2009-06-08T00:28:00.004+08:00

All I can say is, a huge number of people don't treasure the people around them. And when they're gone, they cry over spilled milk. But how far can the regrets take you? Does it turn back time?

Just a thought anyway.

Maybe missing you always bring on such feelings..

-
Oh anyway, Harper's Island was weird.. I hate cliff hangers. Haha.

Goodnight.

2009-06-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Why does time has to pass so fast? It's friday tomorrow. First week of june is coming to an end. Waking up at 7 everyday to make sure I'm on time for school by 8 is a torture. Ok looking on the bright side, its 3o mins later than usual school days! Just one more week, one more week of waking up at 7 everyday... I woke up at 7 today. Washed up and went back to bed at 730. Smart right? And I woke up at 8, changed and rushed to school. Not bad. Manage to reach the chemistry lab by 815-820? Ha.

This is hell bad. I wana say it kinda sucks but I am gonna persevere. No more 'if only's remember? I dont want to live with anymore regrets. Had enough of them. Too much..

Digress abit here, I really hope the H1N1 virus in singapore will stop spreading. And many of the victims are so young!!! Sigh. I really hope it wont get to the stage where schools will be closed becos the N and O levels girls will dieeeeeee. How are we gonna study like that! Okokokok prayer really helps. Just pray it wont:)

Hehe. I love the supers. Supermomo, superkiki, supermimi and Im superdomo! Ha. Had lunch at raffles city ytd after our lit seminar at marina boulevard and we talked for around an 1 hour. It was so fun because we were talking about spirits, ghosts and some people's ghostly encounter in pl. I keep picturing the girl sitting at the red brick area combing her long hair. Omg okokk better stop. I don't dare to type anymore. Imagine there's one beside me reading what I'm typing!!!!!!!! ok

change topic! HIIIII HAHA i am just feeling very ranty today. is there such a word? ranty? Nah. Ok im like talking to my blog.

HIGHLIGHT: Prison break 4 is back. MY HUSBAND IS BACKKK. Gosh I could remember the days(3 years ago) i went extremely crazy over him i printed so many of his pictures and I even made my name tag "Livia Miller". He is still as hot!!! Totally love that show. How sad, its the last season.

Oh my mama, its 12am. Im going to do my amaths liaozxzxzxzxz.

Till then.

2009-06-02T00:43:00.002+08:00

Chinese paper 1 was good good good. Thank you Jesus<3 For the first time, FIRST TIME, in my life, i was able to write smooth sentences, and plus learning some of the chen yu and yan yu really helped.

But I screwed up for paper 2. The comprehension was so hard. If only they were inference questions... I didnt know how to write many words for my compre when they asked me about my feelings, or why do i think etc and I wrote hanyu pinyin. Die la die already lah.

You know, really had to thank those teachers who were marking papers everyday for the two whole weeks.
And I love Mrs Ding. She's super nice, even when she's annoying at times. Annoyingly funny.
Although I said I missed her during the exam period when we didn't have chinese lessons, I don't want to see her anymore k. TOUCH WOOD.

I want my b3.........

BUT i take it back.
Pass chinese can already.
I really dont want to retake. It's so tiring. I dont want to crack my brains again.

Ok lah if i dont get b3, I WILL RETAKE.

"Bu dao huang he xin bu si" (never gonna give up till i reach huang he river)
Hahaha in this case, huang he river = b3 for chinese

2009-05-31T19:37:00.002+08:00

I don't need you to always criticise about my dreams. You don't know how hurting it is. Furthermore, I won't ever let you see me crying this bad. Perhaps, you did not have any goals or dreams when you were younger. Thus, you do not know how it feels like to have been put down like this. I just hope you'd stop it. I dont need you to be supportive of what I do, what I dream for, just don't put me down like this, can?

I'll never apologise for shouting at you but you know I'm sorry for doing so. No matter what. No matter how much you hurt me.

I'm going to adjust my mood now, stop crying, and go back to chinese.

2009-05-30T18:47:00.000+08:00

Right now I feel like crap. Almost everyone who's taking chinese this monday is feeling damn frustrated, so am I :( I feel super crappy and sucky. Its so hard to study for chinese because there's this nagging feeling that you have not studied enough. I told my chinese teacher that if I dont get a b3, I'd retake my chinese Os. But I want to get this over and done with. Why is chinese so difficult? And right now, I just feel so damn lonely. I wana go to the beach to scream. I wana go timbre to eat the pizza and drink till I puke my lungs out. I wana see you. I miss you. Heh whatever. I am upset now. Back to chinese. Back to something I dont know what im studying. Back to something I'm going to try and not give up on because I do not want anymore 'if only's to haunt me.

No boundaries

2009-05-23T12:09:00.000+08:00

Every step you climb another mountain
Every breathe is harder to believe

You'll make it through the pain
Weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

When you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you've almost gave up on your dreams
Then take it by the hand and show that you can

You can go higher
You can go deeper
There are no boundaries
Above and beneath you
Break every rule cause there's nothing between you and your dreams

Say (All I Need)

2009-05-20T20:01:00.001+08:00

I'm one of the 20percent who passed Geog!! Yeahh~~~~ I got a 28/50.
Not good enough? That's what I thought too. If someone could get a b3, I don't see why I couldn't.
Dammit.
I always hate it when people ain't contented with their marks and I'm like that myself.
Shut up.

My amaths is poorly done. Okay Poorly with a capital P.
I didn't even bother to put in the effort. I don't know whats wrong with me.
I'm like clueless about it.
I'm going to start now.
Start from scratch yes. I'm going to prove it to you Koh Chin Gay.
Aiming D7, C6 or C5 for prelims, just not F9.
I believe I can and I will. God will help me through.

I only see my potential in biology. I hate this. I hate this. My chemistry pulled my combined science down from a b3 to a b4.
Ok I know alot of people will be scolding me behind the screen. "wth b4 is good enough can?"
But it's seriously not up to my expectations.

URGHHHHHHHH.
My literature was a b4 and social studies pulled my whole combined humans marks. Don't want to say how much it was in the end.

And my math? It made me cry. They ranked the WHOLE sec 4 and 5. Gosh. Lucky I was in the middle. BUT I didn't do well too. :( :( :( :(Argh math

Although I was happy I passed chinese(miracle??) and I was one of the few who score a c5 for english,
I cannot further emphasize how stupid I am.
Like what many teachers told the sec 4s and 5s, this mid years indicates where we stand.

Ok mid years is over. No use thinking about it or crying over spilled milk.

-
I think Im beginning to lose the inspiration to blog.
I may just abandon this soon.

Ok time for dinner.

Nostalgic and pathetic

2009-05-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

Just feel demoralized and nothing else right now.

Express or Normal?

2009-05-15T20:29:00.002+08:00

Today's career quest was pretty mediocre I guess.
I felt that the only session that helped was the first half of it, when we were with our trainers in the classroom.
Apart from that, the two talks didn't help much.
I guess it's pretty subjective, so everyone has different opinions towards it. I don't want to comment on it too much either, because at least it gave me an idea of how the jc's subject combination worked and how well you must do in TP's Law And Management.

Hmmmmmm. I still do not know what I want to do. But I'm sure I still have at least 5 more months??

I am a lost (baa baa black) sheep.

-
Intensive chinese from monday onwards till the end of may.
And then we'll have our O levels chinese on 1st june.
We're gonna do test papers after test papers EVERYDAY for two weeks.
Gosh, chinese -___________________________________-

Also, the teachers will be returning us our mid year exam papers. And after going through the papers, we'll continue with chinese for the day.

How come I didn't know there's a schedule and its pin on the notice board
Hahaa I want to know what paper we'll get back on monday!!!

Today, we asked Miss Lim how well we all faired for Geog and she said 80 percent of the sec 5 NA batch failed.
Oh my gosh. I was like: "I really hope i'm the 20 percent??? I dont deserve to faillllllllllllllll."

Okay seriously, I don't deserve to fail!!!!! I studied hard for it ok!!!!!
She said we had our content and it was just that we didn't answer to the questions.

So is this the gap btwn N levels and O levels?
The questions?
I pretty guess as much.
The gap is freaking h u g e.

You know if I could turn back time, to change only ONE thing.
I would redo my psle.
How come my mother nagged but I didnt even see the importance of studying at that time?? I seriously didn't care.
If only I could. I will study hard, then I could go to express.
(OOOOPS shit, am I boosting express people's ego? I hope not. Ewwwww.)

I want to redo my psle :(

But then again, on the contrary, I like being in the Normal Academic stream
Because as much as we've been thru failures time after time, we're able to learn to deal with it better than the others, it helps us grow, it prepares us for greater setbacks which we would definitely be able to overcome.

So, don't, DON'T ever look down on NA!!!!!!!!

2009-05-14T15:22:00.001+08:00

I never got a chance to see how he looked in the Little Nyonya because I never followed the show.

It was my first time watching Fighting Spiders that day, and I've got to say he's one with the whole package.

Remember to catch Fighting Spiders next week on Tuesday only at Channel 5 (!!)

Non-negotiable

2009-05-11T18:18:00.001+08:00

I can't believe I'm gonna yak about it again. I guess these things just need sometime yeah? In the meantime, please bear with me or click the X on the top right hand corner of the screen:)

You never told me what really happened even know I acted like I didn't know all thats happening. (do you know how I wished it wasn't true? I wished I could believe you,but then again, you lost my trust)
Let me tell you why. You told me I didn't trust you when I said I would.
Darling, I asked you about the issue but all you kept emphasizing was that It All Doesn't Matter.And What Matters Most Is How Long We've Been Friends.
Funny. how could you expect me to believe you if you didn't tell me anything AT ALL.
Don't tell me I said I love you and I trust you then I chose to believe the other, becos you don't treat me as a good friend to begin with.
Guess whatever I say hurts but whatever you did hurts as much.
It's not as if I accused you for something you didn't do. You're just trying to blame somebody now, and that's not what a friend should do, a friend admits her mistakes, not push it away.

Do you know how affecting it actually is?
Because even when I knew what happened, I wanted to stand by you, and still be the friend I've always been.
But you made it sound like I didn't care. You didn't bother to listen. You made it sound like I didn't give you a chance to speak. You made it sound like it's me who should do the convincing. You made it sound like I should believe you and only you when I heard nothing from your side.
You're not even considering me who's someone dear because all you did was to accused me.

All I could say was that I tried(which you will never come to terms with the fact that i did)
That's why I said, forget it.

-
Back to Chem/Bio. <3 <3
:)

2009-05-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

Pssst tell you guys something I thought mother's day was on 9th may..
Guess what I did..
Before I went for my piano lesson, I left the gift and card in the balcony beside the treamill,
and waited near my stairs..
I texted my mum "See whats beside the treadmill."
And so I was actually looking at her expresion from the balcony from the mirror near the stairs.
Funny. But I told my mum today that I thought mother's day was ytd hahahaha.

Hehehehe I think my mum was touched. The words behind the little card are the ones that mattered the most I know:) Ssssshh I didn't take that down.

Went out with family today. Eat shop eat. Came home. Jogged. Studied. And slacked. Hahaha.

Yay Happy mother's day to all the mummies in the world.
And to the best one:

Thanks for every single thing.
Thanks for bearing with my nonsense.
Thanks for your unconditional love.
Thanks for never failing to do everything for me even when I made you really angry.
Thanks for being my alarm clock in the morning when I turned off mine everytime I hear it ring.

From the simplest thing of punching my Ruled Cards for me when you knew I needed the holes to be there, to never giving up on me when I've always let you down.

I want to make you(and of course daddy) proud of me.

One minute you think you know someone, next minute you don't

2009-05-09T16:25:00.004+08:00

Nothing, Nothing is going to be the same anymore.

I'm saying this with a damn big smile on my face.
Sarcastic much?

You dont bother to listen, but I dontbother to explain too.
It's good this way.
Don't tell me youre dissapointed with me, because you're not making any sense.
I'm tired.
Tired of trying to listen when nothing is being said,
then I'm one of them you point the finger at.

As I said, I never wanted things to become this way.
I said I won't judge, and that was even when I knew what happened already.

Right now, I give up.
Sorry for being a two-faced bitch.

Consider your words.

2009-05-08T23:29:00.004+08:00

You've lost me.

I dont know what to do I'm not going to bother explaining because as I said, it's exhausting talking to you. Not because I don't care. Not because I hate you. This time, i really tried. I cared, I wanted to help. But, you just wanted to be right.
Goodbye, I'm sorry.

2009-05-08T19:43:00.003+08:00

~~Lit. Ss. Geog. Mathpaper1. Chem. Amathpaper1. Math paper2. Chinese. Biology. English.~~ Amathpaper2. Chem/Bio(mcq)

Thank God it's friday.
Papers ended at 12 today and I headed out to orchard for lunch with my mum.
Shopped a little and reached home just in time so that she could fetch my sis from school.

OMG my mum is so sweet k.
I forgot to bring my jacket to school today, and you know I had to be in the hall for two papers.
I called my mum once i reached school but she didn't answer. Unfortnately, she called me back but I didn't pick up and had told her it's ok because I needed to be in the hall already.
Before going in to the hall, I borrowed a jacket from a sec 2 and somehow, I had this intuition that my mum will bring the jacket to school. butttt I had no time text her.
And guess what, I found out she really did after english paper.
I was supposed to collect it from the general office.
HAHAHAHAH LOVE MY MUM TIMES TEN.

I'm going a little insane now.
Battles raging in my head.
Should I sleep or should I not?
Should I go jog on my treadmill now or later? (should I just go to the park? But what if the crazy cat is there?) I hope my mum is going later, so I can follow her, though she brisk walks and I run. At least I have company..

I haven had time to think about life for a week.
It was hectic. Mid years and all.

So many things are running through my mind now.
Omg please don't think I'm emo right now cos I'm not :)
Just, reflective.

To 3 diff people:
1) You'll always be someone special. You know I love you. It's disgusting and stupid, but I know I do, since nothing goes away.
2) I'm sorry things have to turn out this way. Talking to you is exhausting. Your temper's worst than mine. I wish everything was easier. Because I care.
3) I don't like your stance. You got to remember we don't owe you anything. Hope you know eveything we drew on the board about the source based questions were to you. Just that you don't do ss thats all. Tragic.

I'm going off already.
I wana take off my contacts but I'm super lazy. HOW?

Don't misunderstand.

2009-05-07T14:43:00.001+08:00

"Comparisons are easily done once you've had a taste of perfection."

Never quite forgotten how you once were.
Never forgot how your words truly matter.

It doesn't go away, does it?

2009-05-02T23:23:00.001+08:00

Sorry I'm not that kind of person who takes the hard approach.
I'm not one who would actually do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm able to do something if you've already thought that i couldn't.
Sorry I'm not the person you think I am.
You dont even know me.

I don't understand why do you have to always go against what I want to say about my studies and all, becos you don't even have a clue about what I'm going through.

I wish I could just ask you to shut up because you dont know how it actually lowers my self esteem.

2009-04-30T12:52:00.001+08:00

What the hell is wrong with you?

Don't spoil my mood if you're in a bad mood yourself.
Like I care if you've alot of work to do or anything. Then show me attitude and all that shit.
You started with that tone and you could ask me to not talk to you that way.
Gek, gek, gek all you want.
You just dont know how many people is so damn annoyed with you.

OH OH i can also say I have alot of tests and exam man.
Next week mid years, can I slap your face cos I'm stressed not?
Stfu and go away man.

I know you'll be reading this and I'm seriously disgusted by you.

Now I can give you something to write about me in my testimonial. :)

2009-04-28T15:09:00.002+08:00

It started to rain like cats and dogs during pe..
After pe, saw some of the crazy classmates playing under the rain.
They were running from one end of the canteen to the assembly area.
And I just knew I couldn't miss it.
HA!

I guess I was the extreme one. I was dancing, and spinning round and round.
I should have worn my pe attire..
Heh heh you can imagine how wet my pinafore was lah ok.
Almost hugged theresa so that her pinafore will be wet too lol!

kkkkkkkkkkk let's hope it rain again next pe!!

2009-04-27T20:32:00.003+08:00

Life is so short, too short.

I was just telling lene today, it's sad when we end up not getting what we want, or not going where to go.
Example: imagine you have this dream jc/dream poly/dream course you really really want to get into. The desire's so strong that its the main driving force to keep you working hard.
But, there's still a probability of 1 that you may not get what you want right?
I just predicted it's gonna be very hard to take when it happens.
Afterall, we're humans. We wana live up to our expectations, we all have dreams, we all wana fly.
Haha ok what am I talking about already?

Also, sometimes I think life is too short to seriously hate someone because it's quite pointless.
All of us have to leave this world one day, so why can't everyone just be nice to each other?
All this shit like transnational terrorism.. People getting brainwash, kids learning to hate another race or religion just at the age of 7..
When wll it ever stop? Never.
It's IMPOSSIBLE to achieve world peace.

It's sad, really.

Actually I don't know what I'm driving at but omggggg, this is a sad world:(

2009-04-26T01:49:00.001+08:00

1/3 of year 2009 gone.

I'm gonna,

Embrace every moment in school.
Treasure my time with the P(s)OD, 5a2. (we left a few months having lessons tgth as a class)
Appreciate the teachers. (SOME, I said SOME. not kcg)
Love life.
Love my work.
Never lose hope.
Believe in myself.
Believe in God.

There'll definitely be ups an downs, but eveything will come to past.
:)

-

I'm craving for Ikea meatballs, Ajisen Ramen, Emicakes' eclairs, NYDC's spaghetti, B&Js strawberry cheesecake ice cream, Swensen's curry baked rice, Pasta mania's creamy chicken spaghetti, Aston's black pepper chicken, .. the list can go on

I know some people drooling already.

Hahahaa I remember how many people in class wanted to be anorexic in term 1,
but our anorexic plan will never work becos we cant resist food.

2009-04-24T18:05:00.001+08:00

Anyway, I had the same feeling last night again.
And its not psychological, it's physical.
I could literally just feel something pressing on me(not as bad as the previous night),
I could half-open my eyes but I couldn't breathe I couldn't move.
Couldn't count how long it lasted but it was prolly about 3 mins?

So is it scientific or paranormal?
Is it stress or is it the Devil?

Shrugs

-
Finally a little :) on my face.
English oral was as usual, very terrifying.
And my head hurts again!
I came to a realisation that everytime after oral, my head will hurt.
I guess the tension was just taking over me..

Just so you know, the small part of my previous post is to a friend, uh not you.
So I sincerely hope you don't come around giving me the face that you're showing great disaprobation towards what I said.
Haha thank youuuu:)

I just don't wana hurt anyone so as I said, I'm not mentioning anything.
Gonna be mysterious ya ya ya ya!

Chinese Oral on next monday..
I bet it's gonna end pretty late for me :( because my reg number's like behind.
But I kinda love it at the same time because the 'usual reg number group' can get tgth to talk and rant about how scared we all are..

Then someone will say "aiyah its only prelims lah why so scared."
But you know, its hard to not be scared.
Everyone will.
I guess the most important thing is to breathe slow.

-
Anyway, my Itunes is not opening still!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Therefore I am :(

I'm starting to sound very much like the boy with asperger's syndrome in the book "The curious incident of the dog in the nght time"
I'm starting to like emoticons :) :( :O :D

I don't know why I'm ranting.
I'm so tired.

too late for you and your white horse to come around

2009-04-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I feel so damn annoyed now.
Can't wait for tomorrow to end.
Tomorrow's gonna be a long day yeah?

So many things left unsaid.
But I guessed ignorance is bliss, for me, for you, for anyone.
We'll just put on that mask on our faces and show that everything's fine.
Cos tension isn't needed right now btwn anyone of us when the pressure and stress is escalating day by day.

Had a bad night last night. Felt the same horrible feeling like Ive been suffocated when I was sleeping.
I could barely see when I opened my eyes and I couldnt move my body. Only my hands.
Is it my system or is it......................................

I need a chill pill.

I laugh when I'm sad.

2009-04-21T20:07:00.002+08:00

Who do you turn to, when the odds are against you?

2009-04-20T23:53:00.004+08:00

My computer has some kind of virus I think.
The Security Suite kept popping up saying "The virus scanner detected a trojan and moved it to the quarantine."

My itunes is not opening! It has been like this for three days :( :(
I am stressed! -Pulls hair and scream-

We had some emotional management talk today and it was pretty dumb.
Some express classes were FREAKING annoying. They just had to make so much noise and most of them just kept going "SSSSHHHH SSSSH" super loudly.
Wtf and the teachers definitely thought it was us again. Haha whatever.
Let them think then. We'll just be like Dolphus Raymond in TKAM.
Haha!

Look at joyce ler's nonsense. CLICK ON THE PHOTO!
.

2009-04-19T00:34:00.003+08:00

I had a great time catching up with everyone at D's party last night.
I really don't know when's the next time we're gonna meet again..

Anywayz, I really wna watch 17 again.
Zac Efron's wayyy cute.

It's saturday! Monday's coming again..
and then next week's gonna end with just a blink of an eye.
I hate how time is passing soo fast (did i not say that before?)

Sometimes I wonder if this is all there is to life.......

~~I miss you.~~
Being at ____ makes me miss you even more.
~~I want you here to tell me how I'm gonna cope with all this.~~

2009-04-15T19:41:00.000+08:00

What the shittttttttt.
They ask for system why I put villus!

Hello! chem/bio prac ended at like 630 today and I'm totally shagged.
I'm closing my eyes as im typing this. (this line only) <--- EH NOT BAD HAHA

-
Unexplainable. Yet again.

You really impacted me.
Its something I cant change although I really want to.

I don't want to think about it.
It's been forever..

Yup I'm happy like this :)

2009-04-12T02:24:00.001+08:00

Its 2plus am in the morning and Lauren has to just make me smile like a mad person and I feel like laughing.
She knew who i eye candied since like dont-know-when.
Because when I told her, she was like "I know, I can see."

HAW. I only talked to the person ONCE ok.
HAHAHAHA I just want to laugh.
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

Going ikea with family tmrw. (L)

2009-04-11T01:34:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELIZA. I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!
You're 18 and you're legal!
EH BUY ALCOHOL FOR ME LEH. Hehe joking.
See you on friday babe:)

Good Friday was, awesome.
Church was, awesome.
Pastor How's preaching was, awesome.
The worship was, awesome.
Feeling God's presence was, AWESOME.

Thanks L. Luv you:)

While I was in the toilet, the contacts from my left eye dropped.
You can imagine how I had problem going home.
Vision was clear and blur.
One eye had to focus, and one eye need not focus so much.
I was having a headache lol.

O m g next week's gonna be a dreadful week.
SCREW YOU NAPFA! I hate 5 items. I cant do 3 out of 5.
Sorry I'm too damn weak I cant do standing broad jump, incline pull ups and shuttle run.

Bye :(

2009-04-08T21:06:00.001+08:00

"Hello Tan Livia, let's play scissors paper stone.. If you win, I'll listen to her."

I had cip today with Pathlight School. (autistic kids)
But I gotta say they're as normal as us, you wont even know they're autistic if no one told you!
It's just that they're highly distracted, but apart from that, they're really REALLY ok.

I can't explain how cute they are, especially jayson.
I don't mind going back to volunteer after my Os.
But I guess that'll be a whole different story already..
Haha.

Alright today's just like any other school days..
but I wasnt as sleepy because I slept 30 min earlier last night, which was 130am. Yay!
I'm gonna sleep at 1 today so I'll have more energy tomorrow.

ARGH ITS ALREADY WEDNESDAY.
Time is passing wayyyyyy to fast.

Now I'm sleepy, I'm irritated, I'm upset, I'm annoyed.

I think because I'm just tired lah ok.
Or else..
What can it be?

2009-04-05T23:06:00.005+08:00

Butterflies everyime you come around.

hey baby, stop ignoring me and reply me!!!!
Stop flirting with NICOLE.
I love you more than she does.

xoxo, liv.

2009-04-04T00:03:00.002+08:00

Good game..

Oh did I not mention, on friday when I was in the general office getting the permission slip to go home, I smiled at the receptionist and said excuse me in a very polite voice..

but this weird teacher (I shan't say her name) scolded me for being rude..
She told me "dont say excuse me.. its very rude, please say good morning.."
And she left.

Just after the teacher stepped out of the general office,
the receptionist bitched about her, IN MY FACE SOMEMORE.

HAHAHAHA. I didn't even bother agreeing with the receptionist because I couldn't care less..
Why is the receptionist taking sides anyway?
Haha cos it's so obvious she was pretty pissed off with the teacher..

Meow. I feel so indifferent.
I'm so disgusted, by both of them.

Punchline: Shut up, and just do your job.

2009-04-03T22:06:00.002+08:00

Dear God - Avenged Sevenfold

Omg next week's like week 3.

Chem/bio prac for Mid Year exam on week 4.
Napfa test on week 4. (stupid and REDUNDANT honestly)
Demelza's party on week 4, hehe :)
Chinese oral for Mid years on week 3, 4 or 5? I dont know when.

CHINESE O LEVELS ON JUNE 1ST.
DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Oh well nothing to blog about.
Life is as usual, very mundane.
And I'm still my perpetual self: I wana sleep.

Why cant there be 36 hours a day instead of 24?
It's already April. 3RD OF APRIL.
April Fools still felt like ytd. oh oh april fools was so memorable. Awesome last April Fools in PL <3 (ok digress here)

I wished it was still january.
Somehow, I wished it was forever January.

2009-03-31T19:54:00.002+08:00

Some photos from sports day (last friday)
A little late I know..
Took quite alot with the dslr, but I'm lazy to post all.

:)

Ikea with lady jaja, joyce and bella today.

Orgasmic meatballs (y)

Hehe YES I didn't sleep today cos I was out whole afternoon.

I hope I'd sleep early today.

I've been feeling more tired than usual thanks to the contacts.

I thought Acuvue was a gd brand, mine's disposable somemore. Shouldn't be a problem hm?

Prolly my pupil hasnt quite adapt to the lenses because I've only worn it for a week..

K got to go now.

I've got homework I think(do i?)

And gonna run more today because I ate MEATBALLS.

Roar!

2009-03-27T21:33:00.001+08:00

Dont try to decipher.
This is a summary of the root to all my problems.
There are more you know.. Im just too tired to think. I sound like a screwed up kid.

You're not just a face in the crowd.

I never meant anything to begin with. Was never someone significant, was never someone special.

Always ended up at Square 1.

Yes lene yong my favourite partner, I couldnt agree more that I've just put too much effort or whatever into this. Fell too deep. (the matter's like history already. and wtf, still unable to forget)

Sometimes we all need to fall so that we'll learn. But why is it that everytime you try to pick yourself up, you cant?

Is it because you dont want to, or... Or what?

My leg hurts like crap. I need to jog. Screw this pain.

Heartache.

Legache.

Cigs? No way.

Some wounds never heal.

2009-03-26T20:01:00.002+08:00

Untouched - The Veronicas

My body clock's super screwed I tell ya'll.

I nvr remember feeling so sleepy during lessons..
BUT TODAY, I dozed off during chinese for 5 min!
I was trying so EFFING badly to keep my eyes open during chemistry but my brain wasnt even functioning.

I dont knw why its only today when I sleep at 2am almost every night.
You see, the problem is, I sleep in the afternoon for around 2-3 hours because I cant seemed to wake up after an hour even if my hp alarm clock ring. I'd just turn it off and go back to my lala land.

(I mean we have to take afternoon naps right? Or else how are we gna concentrate on our hmwk or anything?)

Oh gosh someone tell me what 2 do.

Next wk, I'm going to start TRYING to adjust to how normal people should sleep and wake.
Seriously.

2009-03-23T23:52:00.000+08:00

Sigh.

2009-03-22T17:56:00.001+08:00

You know how miserable i feel whenever i do chinese? Because I dont know how to read so many words then I dont understand anything the passage is talking about.

Hahaha I have not even touch my chinese homework yet. Its lying somewhere below many many books... So many piles of books on my table, I dont even want to think of which pile..

Im tired.
I feel so sian.

I'M HUNGRY.

I feel so pressurized for the coming term.
It's gonna be a whole load worst than term 1 but then againnnnnnnnnnnnnnn, everything's definitely possible with God :)

I've been sleeping so late everynight I think I must sleep early tonight if not I dont even need to think of reaching school just in time for assembly tmrw.
:(

2009-03-21T02:21:00.003+08:00

Awww school's starting. Term 2 timetable was already out during the last day of term 1.

Cheerios fellow PODs, here comes our concentration camp again!

2009-03-20T02:15:00.001+08:00

I don't understand why does it always have to come back to me.

good morning its 215am..

2009-03-19T13:28:00.003+08:00

Jai ho!

Nicole Scherzinger doesn't know how to pronounce 'jai ho'....
Instead of 'jai ho', she sings 'jay hoe'

Haha.

Great day with rachel yee and sharmz ytd.
SHEESHA FTW! :)

right nw i wanna be 18...
just a thought anyway, i'm sure it'll fade away.

i never want to grow old.

2009-03-15T15:31:00.000+08:00

Slept at 4am.
Woke up at 12pm today. Ate. Lay on my bed and fell asleep again.
I am a pig.

Ok byebye going out with my family now.

2009-03-14T01:30:00.001+08:00

See the contrast?

Meet the parents session didn't turned out as bad as I imagined it would.

To the nicest teacher I've ever seen in my dont-know-how-many-years in PL:
You know you're the best and you know everyone likes you. you know it:) Thanks for always believing in us and always listening to our whines. You never focus on our flaws but our strengths. Lessons are always fun when we end up talking about funny things which lead to even crazier stuffs. You know you can relate to us so well we tell you almost anything. I've never respect a teacher this much and I think you deserve the biggest credibility for that. You know your life stories will always be something we can learn from and thank you so much for inspiring us. Words cant express how much I treasure you and no doubt we'll all miss you like crazy when we leave PL, i know you told someone's mum you'll miss all of us. Haha. Love you very muchos :D

-
Okay it's the end of term 1. It's gonna be the end of term 2 before you know it.

I took a nap just now at 6 after coming back with my mum because we went out after meet the parents.

You know my naps always last for 2 hours so it isn't really a nap is it?

Isabella, joyce and jaaziel are gonna go for gb camp for 4 days starting from tmrw.
I feel so awkward not having them around. As in I know they'll be around, in sg.
NEAR MY HOUSE SOMERMORE. In school.
But its just so weird. I dont know how to put this..

Anyway I wana say sorry to the class that the class com have to start fining you guys for eating.
We dont have any other choices. Dont worry we'll fine ourselves if we eat too.

Not REALLY ready for term 2 but I will prepare myself..

I don't know what else to say anymore, in other words SPEECHLESS.
Go drown in your own misery because everyone hates you.
Oh wait how to drown when there will be no more water when you jumped in?

2009-03-12T00:52:00.002+08:00

Still miss you after 2 years.

I can't sleep because your face kept appearing in my mind.
Seems like time doesn't do everything.

Do you still hate me?

2009-03-11T21:19:00.000+08:00

I seriously think I have a problem.
I'm having cramps now when my period ended like two weeks ago?
And the worst thing is, my period is getting lesser and lesser.
Ever since october last year, its so little that it only lasted for around 2 days last month.
I really think I have a problem.

My mum reckons is the jogging, but I beg to differ.
Because I dont jog that much anymore.

Hmmmmmm someone tell me what is the problem?

ANYWAY, I caught Slumdog Millionaire today and I think it's a pretty good show.
Not SUPER GOOD like how everyone said it was, but it's good.
Love the soundtrack and love the lead actor. So cute:)

Alright I'm off to do my situational writing now..

2009-03-10T00:37:00.000+08:00

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN AT 1PM?

Exciting much?

2009-03-08T01:20:00.002+08:00

SIAO KER PONG PONG

I don't know why this photo still exists in my computer when I remembered quite clearly I deleted it.

SOMEONE, ANYONE, JUST KILL ME NOW.
You can click it and I allow you to laugh.

The most amusing thing is, its lizard I'm taking a photo with.
HAHAHHAHAAHHAHA.
Ok not funny. I think it was her last day of school and she was taking with practically everyone she knew.

Oh haha digressed! Look at my hair and me! HAHAHA...........